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Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparing yourself to others is a topic that comes up a LOT in therapy sessions. It’s a trap that many of us fall into, especially when engaging with social media. We often believe that everyone else has their shit together except us. Let me tell you upfront: nobody has it together all the time. So, why do we spend so much time and energy playing the comparison game? Let’s jump in.
Comparing Yourself to Others Show Highlights
Parents are particularly vulnerable to making comparisons to others.
The top reasons that we compare ourselves to others: societal pressure, social media, curated imagery in TV/movies, and general insecurities
The downward spiral of negative self-judgment is a long road toward anxiety, depression, etc.
Dr. Kat’s advice: “When it comes to social media, take note of how it makes you feel.”
Comparison is seeing a snapshot of someone else’s life and comparing our worst to what looks like their best.
Comparison, perfectionism, and people-pleasing are all attempts to make ourselves “good enough” for other people.
Dr. Kat’s tips to combat comparisons:
Limit social media.
Realize that comparing yourself to a sliver of someone else’s moment is not the full picture.
Cut yourself some slack and live YOUR own life.
Realize that you are human—and all humans make mistakes.
Resources:
Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773. There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to better support people for whom they provide services.
Visit www.postpartum.net for resources and support!
Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.
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