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Becoming a Parent When You Had Difficult Parents
Relationship challenges are at the top of the list of things that come up in therapy sessions. I’m not just referring to partner relationship difficulties, but even relationships with other family members. Becoming a parent brings up a lot of relationship dynamics about childhood, family, and our own parents, especially if there was family disruption, abuse, neglect, or emotional unavailability. To be fair, I’m not parent-shaming or blaming. Parents of a generation or two back might not have had great parenting skills because they didn’t get the parenting that they needed. Join me as we explore this concept in today’s Behind the Sessions episode.
Becoming a Parent When You Had Difficult Parents Show Highlights
As a psychologist, I can only diagnose and understand my clients—not all the other people in their lives.
Our early experiences with our parents shape how we connect with people, how we bond and attach, and how we navigate relationships.
The pressure on a new parent can be intense and lead to anxiety, depression, perfectionism, and OCD patterns.
Healing our childhood trauma is a relatively new concept.
Relationships with our parents can run the gamut from having no contact at all to having an incredibly intrusive parent.
The generational healing journey begins with realizing that the way you were parented doesn’t have to be carried forward. You CAN break the cycle.
Mistakes are part of life and learning.
Seeing a therapist can help you NOT carry old traumas into the rest of your parenting journey.
A deeper understanding of yourself and your healing can help you see your parents through a different lens.
I look forward to expanding further on this topic in future episodes with several of my colleagues!
Resources:
Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773. There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to better support people for whom they provide services.
Visit www.postpartum.net for resources and support!
Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.
Tools, Skills and Hacks for New Moms
Manage thoughts & feelings of overwhelm
Learn how breathing & grounding help reach calmness
Exercises to find peace
