If you’ve ever had to be on bed rest during pregnancy, then you know it’s not as simple as it sounds. It takes intention to get through it with your mental health intact. Today’s guest, Jessica Vanderwier was on bed rest and she’s here to share how this experience impacted her, along with her best advice about how we can better support moms on bed rest.
Jessica Vanderwier is a registered psychotherapist from Guelph, Ontario, who is passionate about supporting families. She is known online for Our Mama Village, a platform where she shares daily pieces of encouragement and support for moms and families. Jessica started this page after she went through a difficult transition into motherhood, and saw the need for a supportive community that moms would access anytime they needed. In her therapy work, Jessica supports families from preconception to working with children with mental health concerns. In her private life, Jessica loves her role as a mom and wife and spends her time with her husband and two-year-old daughter.
Show Highlights:
- Jessica’s pregnancy: started normally, even though she was still working 40-50 hours/week
- At 20 weeks, cramping began, and she felt terrible after overdoing it planning a Christmas party, so she headed to the hospital to get checked
- The first clue that something serious was wrong at the hospital was the way the nurses kept repeating internal exams and ultrasounds–with no explanation why
- The nurse insisted that Jessica get in a wheelchair, so panic set in, with still no reason for the concern
- The diagnosis was incompetent cervix, preterm labor, and early dilation; the on-call Ob said the next step was bed rest to take the pressure off her cervix
- Jessica’s instructions were to be on the couch or in bed with her feet up all day, only getting up for brief bathroom breaks
- Why it was a difficult mental adjustment to have no work and no purpose other than to rest all-day
- How Jessica tried to keep a schedule each day in moving from bed to the couch, reading, books, and even taking an online course
- When she reached 34 weeks, her restrictions became a little more flexible; she was allowed to do dishes and ride in the car with her husband
- Her full-term birth was an answer to prayer, but then she entered a postpartum time of anxiety
- How she navigated life after bed rest
- How she felt like those who had helped her during the bed rest were burned out, so she didn’t ask for postpartum help
- At four months postpartum, Jessica decided to ask for help
- The frustration when the doctor discounts your postpartum feelings of anxiety and depression
- How this frustration fuels Jessica’s work today with moms
- How she got sleep, help with childcare, and therapy to feel better
- How Jessica looked for ways to help other moms
- Our Mama Village began as a Facebook page where moms could go for hope and encouragement and know they aren’t alone
- Why Our Mama Village has grown because the need is great and the message needs to get out to moms
- Jessica’s advice to others on bed rest:
- Be gentle with yourself
- Find something that gives purpose and meaning to each ay
- Find ways to talk and connect with your baby
- Schedule each day so they don’t roll along indefinitely
- Have something each week to look forward to
- Seek professional support, even if it’s online therapy
- Jessica’s online course (coming soon) with effective tools for dealing with anxiety and simple strategies to help moms enjoy motherhood
Resources:
