Did you have a difficult relationship with your mother? If so, then those issues may have an impact on your own mothering process. Today’s show address this topic and gives information that can be valuable in the healing process and applicable to the experiences held in this vital relationship between mother and child.
Crystal Clancy, LMFT, has a private practice specializing in perinatal mental health. She is one of the founding members of Pregnancy and Postpartum Support MN, which is the Minnesota State Chapter of PSI. She has been a PSI State Coordinator for 5 years. She is married and the mother of a son and a daughter.
Show Highlights:
- How Crystal had a difficult relationship with her mother that intensified when her daughter was born and she encountered postpartum depression
- Crystal noticed the common theme in her clients of a difficult mother relationship, which can also apply to a father
- Factors to consider when examining a difficult relationship with a parent
- The problems when a parent is centered and focused on their own needs over those of their child
- The difficulty in mothering when you had a difficult relationship with your mother usually manifests itself after your baby is born
- Sometimes a healthy level of attachment hasn’t been realized and the mother goes to one extreme or the other, either detaching or going overboard with care and control
- A big step a new mom can take: find someone in your “village” or a professional who validates your feelings
- Why new moms can feel ungrounded and unsettled
- Depression and anxiety may be more common for these women due to shame, guilt, and lack of quality support
- How Crystal helps women and teaches them to find the goal in the parent/child relationship
- Scripted responses to use to say to a mom that can rewire self-talk
- The grief that never ends, over the fact that you didn’t get the kind of mom you wanted and deserved
- Accept that your parent is not capable of giving what you needed and not because of who you are
- What Crystal has seen with moms reclaiming themselves
- The intricacies of the healing process to empower and come through with resilience
- Tools and resources that can help:
Will I Ever Be Good Enough? By Karyl McBride
Children of the Self-Absorbed by Nina Brown
The value of writing therapeutic letters
The Little Shaman Healing (youTube.com)
Other Resources:
Find Crystal on Facebook: @irisrepro or @ppsupportmn
