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317: Behind The Sessions: Hyper Independence Can Make You Anxious
Becoming a parent can bring intense anxiety and high levels of worry about doing the right thing for your child. Some people have feelings of failure in meeting some high level of expectation that they have of themselves. I always wonder in therapy what has contributed to a person’s suffering in this way, and, as a therapist, I want to dig deeper into why this style of hyper-independence and hyperfunctioning at all costs is activated when some people become parents. Let’s dig deeper in today’s Behind-the-Sessions episode.
Hyper Independence Can Make You Anxious Show Highlights
How hyper-independence can show up because of childhood events in which someone experiences emotional neglect
How being independent, not burdening anyone by asking for help, and relying only on oneself can be magnified in the postpartum
Why the pressure to be perfect can lead to high anxiety and even depression in the presence of impossibly high standards
Why asking for help and admitting that you aren’t perfect can alleviate the stress, overwhelm, and constant energy drain that a hyper-independent parent might feel
How a perinatal mental health professional can help someone manage these dynamics
Dr. Kat’s advice for hyperfunctioning parents: “Have compassionate support for yourself, try to be flexible in understanding that it’s okay to ask for help, and prioritize your sleep, rest, and self-care.”
Resources:
Postpartum Support International: https://www.postpartum.net/
Tools, Skills and Hacks for New Moms
Manage thoughts & feelings of overwhelm
Learn how breathing & grounding help reach calmness
Exercises to find peace
