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Faith and Mental Health Support Reconciled
In far too many segments of our society, there is a stigma and terrible shame around perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. Even now, when there is a huge push to validate mental health support for those who need it, many women are suffering in silence. The Christian faith is one subset of society where postpartum support is truly lacking, and simply “praying more” or “reading more scripture” are not valid ways to treat mental illness. Because of her suffering on the motherhood journey, my guest is on a mission to help other Christian women have the confidence to find the help they need. Join us to hear Dara’s story.
About Dara DeMari
Dara DeMari is a born-again Christian, wife, and mother of four young children. All of her pregnancies culminated in premature births and NICU stays for her babies. Although she grew up in a church family, her postpartum struggles left her feeling incredibly isolated, alone and shamed. With a full spectrum of perinatal mood disorders ranging from anxiety, OCD, rage, and depression, it took Dara years to shed the stigma of shame and be ready to share her story. She has made it her personal mission to gather stories of other Christian women who suffered in silence and help them use their voices to encourage women in the church to speak up and speak out about postpartum mood disorders. The goal is to comfort and encourage new mothers to feel confident in asking and receiving the support and help they need.
Dara is in the process of forming a nonprofit called Postpartum Faith to help educate people and give those of Christian faith the resources available to face postpartum mood disorders head-on and overcome them with confidence.
Faith and Mental Health Support Reconciled Show Highlights:
How Dara’s motherhood story began: a miscarriage and subsequent high-risk pregnancy with twins who were premature and required a three-week NICU stay after birth
How further problems and another three-week hospital stay for her newborn son led to severe sleep deprivation for Dara
How breathing issues for her son and feeding problems for both babies led to huge anxiety issues for Dara, including OCD, panic attacks, and intrusive thoughts
How Dara reached out for help to her Ob-gyn but was turned away with no direction or resources offered beyond the advice to “find a therapist”
How the Christian faith has a stigma associated with mental health and offered Dara no help
How Dara progressed to feeling desperate for help and frozen in anxiety
How relief finally came when she was directed to the postpartum stress center
How Dara’s next pregnancy and birth happened just as COVID lockdowns occurred and resulted in premature birth, respiratory distress, and another NICU stay
How Dara began to experience postpartum rage and reached out to her therapist
How her next pregnancy also resulted in a premature birth and NICU stay, which set Dara on the road to postpartum depression
How Dara realized what is lacking in the church as far as postpartum support for women–and what she wishes the church would do
Why she is starting a nonprofit to help other women
How Dara’s struggles and intense suffering have positioned her with a passionate purpose to help other Christian women
Resources:
Connect with Dara:
Website: postpartumfaith.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/postpartumfaith
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/postpartumfaith
Postpartum Support International: https://www.postpartum.net/
Tools, Skills and Hacks for New Moms
Manage thoughts & feelings of overwhelm
Learn how breathing & grounding help reach calmness
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Faith and Mental Health Support Reconciled: Dara DeMari’s Journey
In the latest episode of Dr. Kat’s Mom and Mind podcast, we delve into a powerful narrative that bridges the gap between faith and mental health support, a subject often overlooked in many communities. Dara DeMari shares her compelling story, highlighting the unique struggles faced by Christian women during the postpartum period.
Dara DeMari: A Profile of Resilience and Advocacy
Dara DeMari is a devoted wife and mother of four who has endured significant challenges throughout her journey into motherhood. Each of her pregnancies resulted in premature births and subsequent NICU stays for her newborns. Growing up in a Christian family, Dara was accustomed to seeking solace and guidance through faith. However, her postpartum experiences left her feeling isolated and shamed, battling a range of perinatal mood disorders including anxiety, OCD, rage, and depression.
Despite the teachings of her faith suggesting that prayer and scripture should suffice as remedies, these methods fell short of addressing her mental health needs. It took years for Dara to overcome the stigma and shame associated with her condition, setting her on a path of healing and advocacy.
The Genesis of Postpartum Faith
Recognizing the profound lack of support within her faith community, Dara embarked on a mission to form a nonprofit organization named Postpartum Faith. This initiative aims to educate and provide resources for Christian women facing similar struggles, empowering them to seek and receive the necessary support without fear of judgment.
Journey Through Motherhood
Dara’s motherhood journey was fraught with trials from its inception, starting with a miscarriage followed by a high-risk pregnancy with twins. The twins’ premature birth and subsequent three-week NICU stay marked the beginning of Dara’s profound challenges with perinatal mood disorders. Another pregnancy led to further complications and a severe increase in her anxiety levels, characterized by OCD, panic attacks, and intrusive thoughts.
When she sought help from her Ob-gyn, the lack of direction and support was disheartening—she was simply advised to “find a therapist.” This experience highlighted a significant issue within the healthcare system: a lack of proper referral and support mechanisms for postpartum conditions.
The Role of Faith in Mental Health
The Christian faith, while a source of comfort to many, often stigmatizes mental health issues, offering little to no support for those like Dara. This lack of understanding and support from her religious community compounded her feelings of desperation and isolation. It wasn’t until she found help at a postpartum stress center that she began to find relief from her symptoms.
Continued Struggles and Breakthroughs
Dara’s subsequent pregnancies were equally challenging, with each leading to premature births and NICU stays. These experiences coincided with the onset of postpartum rage, a deeper understanding of depression, and the urgent need for specialized help. Throughout these trials, her faith was tested but her resolve strengthened.
Vision for the Church
Dara’s personal experiences have given her unique insights into what is missing in church support systems for postpartum women. She advocates for a more open dialogue about mental health, urging church leaders to acknowledge these issues and foster environments where women can seek help without fear.
Empowering Others Through Postpartum Faith
The establishment of Postpartum Faith is a beacon of hope for many women who suffer in silence. Dara’s work aims to dismantle the stigma around postpartum mood disorders within the Christian community, promoting a dual approach of faith and professional mental health support. By sharing her story and the stories of others, she hopes to empower women to confidently seek the help they need.
A Call for Reconciliation and Support
Dara DeMari’s story is a poignant reminder of the silent battles many women face in the postpartum period. Her journey from suffering to advocacy underscores the critical need for a reconciled approach to mental health support that respects and incorporates personal faith. Through her nonprofit and her voice, Dara is setting a precedent for how faith communities can and should respond to mental health challenges, ensuring that no other woman has to suffer in silence.
Dr. Kat’s Mom and Mind podcast continues to shed light on such crucial issues, fostering a better understanding and creating pathways for support and healing in the maternal mental health space.
