Immigrants and Culture Shock
Perinatal mental health is important for every new mom, but there are extra challenges for moms who are immigrants living in a country and culture that are unfamiliar. Such is the story of today’s guest. Join us to hear how she overcame many difficulties to turn her trauma into her renewed purpose to help others!
Eszter Kalman is a mom of two who struggled with postpartum depression and anxiety. She experienced the loneliness of motherhood after moving to the US from her native Hungary. She shares with us what it was like to discover her new life as a new mother and immigrant and how she learned to cope with the cultural differences that met her at every turn. Eszter also faced the difficulty of transitioning into motherhood after losing her own mother in Hungary and living in the US with none of her family nearby. It was her postpartum journey that led her to make meaning of her own experience by going back to school to become a therapist and help other moms.
She has worked as a Helpline volunteer for Postpartum Support International and the Postpartum Health Alliance of San Diego for many years. From her beginnings in Hungary to time spent living in Spain and Italy, Eszter has resided in San Diego for the past 12 years and proudly calls it her home. She loves the sunny weather, exploring parks and beaches, and going for long walks with her dog.
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Kálmán Eszter kétgyermekes anyuka, aki szülés utáni depresszióval és szorongással küzdött. Eszter megtapasztalta az anyaság magányát, miután Magyarországról az Egyesült Államokba költözött.
Személyes tapasztalatai késztették arra, hogy megszerezze a mesterdiplomát, hogy segítsen más szülőknek, akik mentális egészségükkel küszködnek a perinatális időszakban. Ügyfeleit kaliforniai magánpraxisban látja.
Sok éven át a Postpartum Support International és a San Diego-i Postpartum Health Alliance segélyvonal önkéntese volt.
Igazi rajongója otthonának, San Diegónak, annak ellenére, hogy Magyarországon született és nőtt fel, élt Spanyolországban és Olaszországban, 12 éve San Diegóban él, de még mindig azt gondolja, hogy ez a világ legjobb helye. Élvezi a gyönyörű napsütéses időt, felfedezi a parkokat és a strandokat, és hosszú sétákra megy a kutyájával, vagy utazik barátaival és családjával.
Magyar instagram: @ujanyaszuletik
Show Highlights
How Eszter experienced culture shock when she first moved to California as an immigrant from Hungary and quickly married her husband and found herself pregnant just a few months later
How Eszter, as a new mom, had to adjust to her husband’s family, which was very different from what she was used to as far as honoring privacy
How her pregnancy was easy with no mention of the possibility of postpartum depression and anxiety
How postpartum depression and anxiety kicked in almost immediately when she and her newborn son went home, and she felt alone and unsupported
How Eszter missed her mother in the first days of motherhood because she has passed away a couple of years earlier
How Eszter realized that she wasn’t enjoying motherhood and was jealous of other moms who were
How Eszter learned not to express her true feelings because she was invalidated by everyone around her
How one nurse made an impact as the one person who understood Eszter and tried to help her
How Eszter finally got connected to a therapist and found the help she needed, but was hesitant to reveal that she was getting therapy because of the cultural stigma
Why it became healing for Eszter to be able to openly talk about her experience and share it with others without shame and guilt
Why Eszter loves the work she does today in private practice to help other moms with perinatal mental health
How Eszter is creating resources, like a course and podcast, especially for other Hungarians
Why turning your trauma into your purpose makes meaning out of your experience
Eszter’s hopeful message for new moms: “The sooner you learn to ask for help when you need it doesn’t mean that you are weak; it means that you want to remain strong.”
Resources
Connect with Eszter Kalman and Golden Tears Therapy:
Website: www.goldentearstherapy.com
Instagram: @goldentearstherapy
YouTube: @keszter80
Step Into Motherhood Feeling Fully Supported- Online Course for New Moms
Visit www.postpartum.net for resources! I’d love to hear from you!
Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.
Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!
